1. Complement
people in some way within the first 30 seconds of your conversation.
When
you are meeting someone for the first time, or for the 100th time, it is always
nice to be flattering! Notice that the person looks happy or acknowledge a
recent accomplishment of theirs; people are always looking for acceptance, make
someone feel valued by noting their specialness in the form of a sincere compliment!
2. Ask people
questions about three key areas: their passions, their projects, and their
principles.
Begin
a conversation with, "I value your opinion about _______(subject ideas: class,
school, church) that I am thinking of joining, could you share
your thoughts on it with me?" it is a positive way to make someone
feel as though you hold their opinions in high regard. It is an intimate
look into the person to whom you are speaking. Because the question is open
ended you may learn a lot about a topic of interest to you both, as well as a
lot about the person!
3. Complement a
person about something specific in front of another person.
This
one is tricky, be careful not to say, "Wow I haven't seen you in a while,
you have lost a lot of weight!" This has happened in my presence before! I
was with a new friend who ran into an old friend while we were all at a
football game. My poor friend was very embarrassed! Clearly, you can find
a nice complement to say
to someone that will not mortify them!
4. If you
discover a meaningful article or blog post, send a copy to another person with
a note describing the benefits you derived from it.
We
have all been victims of the well-intentioned forward with the Chicken Soup for
the Soul type message. While these are somewhat inspiring the first time you read
them, they get a little old after the 187thone. Why not work to recreate the
culture of forwards by forwarding specific information that will truly add value
to the person (yes…just one person at a time) you are sending it to.
When you forward something meaningful like this, make sure you tell them
why you think the other person will find this information helpful.
This
is a big tip when dealing with people in business. People are very attached to
their name! Nothing makes a person feel valued more than knowing they made
enough of an impression on you for you to remember their name! It helps in the
dating world, too!
6. Remember
people's birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions. Send them a note on
those dates to let them know you are sharing in their celebration.
It
doesn't matter if a person is 4 or 40; everyone likes to be acknowledged
for being born! If you can make a note in your records of someone's
birthday and remember to send a card or make a surprise phone call on their
special day you will surely make them feel valued! Same goes for life events
such as anniversaries and promotions!
7. Strive to be
the first to help a person whom you know in need.
Sometimes
we can be at the right place, at the right time, for someone who needs our
assistance! You
know when those moments happen and you act on them, most of the time! Have
you ever reached to the top shelf for an elderly lady at the grocery store
and graciously smiled when she thanked you? If yes, you most certainly
made her feel valued! Keep your eyes and heart open for ways to be helpful
in your family and your community. Making another person feel valued
will make you feel valued as well!
8. Help people
focus on their strengths and assist them in delegating their weaknesses.
Most
people buy into the notion that they need to work on their weaknesses.
But they will be most valuable in the area of their strengths. If a person
is good at organizing, give them responsibilities in that area. Let them
use their uniquegiftedness to accomplish a task in their way. If a person
struggles in the area of public speaking, putting them up in front of
people may only frustrate them.
People
will feel more valuable to an organization or team when they are able to do
things that they’re good at. In school, when a parent looks at their student’s
report card, their attention seems to be focused on the lower grades. “You have to get those
up,” they might say.
Unfortunately,
many people live with this sense of always having to focus on
our weaknesses instead of being recognized for and honing our strengths. While
it’s important to get good grades and do your best, no one gets straight A’s in life.
There will always be things that we’re better at then other
things.
9. Comment on
someone’s blog or web page with kind words and a recommendation for that person
and the work he or she is doing.
Social
networking sites started off being nothing more than personal diaries.
But now they are the personal communication medium of choice amongst
younger generations. Use this form of social media to connect with people
and encourage them. Leave them a comment or message in their inbox. If you leave
a comment, others will see it as well. Plus, everyone likes to get a new
comment on their MySpace/Face book/Twitter account.
10. Send
handwritten notes as often as possible. Writing a note out by hand expresses
more of a personal touch and a greater investment of time.
I
keep thank you notes and other small stationary cards in my car and in
my kitchen, this way I can always conveniently jot a note to a special
friend! Try to make a habit of making someone aware of their value to you by
personally writing a thank you for being you note, in your own unique
penmanship!! Nothing beats a sincere and
physical thank you for making a positive impression. Email/online thank you
messages just don’t have the impact, the weight, of an actual card or letter. In an age of
hundreds of fleeting digital messages and relationships,
of faster, faster,
faster!, go offline if you really want to make an favorable
impression on someone you only know digitally.
11. Offer the
unexpected, anonymous gift. Bring coffee to your co-workers. Arrive to
work early and leave a small gift on someone's office chair. Leave a gift
card on someone's windshield.
I
love this one...balloons are my signature surprise; it is a joyful and very
visual way to celebrate someone you value. For a few dollars you could flood
someone's office or dorm room with helium balloons and uplift their mood and
“value quotient”.
12. Find out what
kinds of hobbies people have and send them ideas, brochures, or flyers on that
subject.
People
are often passionate about their hobbies. What if you discovered a way for
them to make money with their hobby? Perhaps they could consult or teach
others? Help them figure that out. Show them what other people who have a
similar hobby are doing. Is there a trade show or expo coming in the future
that would be of benefit to them?
13. Write a song
or poem expressing how much someone means to you.
I
had a boyfriend in high school that wrote poems for me...he was very creative
and sincere...and HOT....I fell for him hard and kept those poems for
twenty years!
He had me in the palm of his hand! Oh the words he wrote! He made me feel
valued like no one else ever had! Writing something to someone you care about
is wonderfully received. If you choose to write love letters - Please be sure
not to let it be known that it is your modes operandi. Something is taken
away when you find out your special someone is writing sonnets for the
whole cheerleading squad!
14. Smile at
people. Smile when you talk to them. Smile when you walk by them.
Smiles
are contagious and free! Some people will wonder what is so funny, or what you are up
to! Isn't that worth it? You can give a stranger a smile and possibly
make their whole day brighter! What have you got to lose? Remember: a smile is
free; and your day goes the way of the corners of your mouth!
15. Say
"hello" to people when you walk by them in stores, malls, street
corners, coffee shops.
In
the middle of our country everyone greets each other whether or not
they know each other, maybe that is another reason that it is called
"the HEARTland"! When friends of mine have been in New York Los Angeles
16. Imagine a
"Make Me Feel Important" sign is hanging around the neck of each
person that you meet. Work to treat them that way and they will respond in
kind.
Instead
of walking around thinking that you have learned it all, and know it all; try
going out into the world seeking what others have learned as well. Try leaving your
ego at home and treat others as if they can teach you something!
This
will convey a sense of openness on your end and will allow the person you are
talking with feel valued.
17. Express
gratitude for the ways that people specifically add value to your life.
Sometimes
our struggle isn’t with giving of ourselves, but being able to receive good
when it comes our way. Learn to say thank you from a grateful
heart. Showing our appreciation
makes the gift giver feel appreciated. Showing gratitude to another offers
proof of their value and the significance they bring to the relationship.
18. When you learn
something new,
decide on which three people you are going to share this new
information, idea, or practice with.
Read
or listen to someone and you can learn something. But take what you’'ve learned
and turn around and teach it to someone else and you’ve taken this thing to a
whole new level. By passing on new information, ideas, or practices you
empower someone else, but you also deepen your own learning. It also speaks volumes
to someone else when you come across something and let them know that when you
discovered it, you thought about how much it would be of value to them.
19. When someone
asks for your help or assistance with something, always do a little bit extra. It is the extra that turns ordinary into
extraordinary.
This
is called “going the extra or second mile.” It means we have the
opportunity to do more than is expected of us. It is the “and then some”
mindset. Someone asks you to help them clean their backyard, so you help them
clean their backyard and then some.
20. Spend time
with people. Often we communicate a person's value to us simply because we like
hanging out with them, even if there's no agenda.
Time
is a precious commodity and a valuable resource. How can you spend this
resource effectively on others?
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